on winter's end and energy spend

tldr; if you're tired, it's because this is hard. take care of your energy bank. spend smart, recharge smart, and invest smart.

an anniversary not exactly worthy of the usual celebration...we are coming up on the 1 year mark of when the hardest year of many of our lives began. let us count the ways with an extremely abbreviated list...

maybe you lost your job in 2020. maybe you lost a friend or family and restrictions and mandates didn't allow you to be close. maybe you struggled with the constant uncertainty and fear of what's next or when this will end. maybe you got sick. maybe you started a family and the first year was nothing like you'd imagined it would be. maybe it's the isolation and lack of human contact and connection. maybe it's the exponential increase in screen time. maybe someone needed you and you couldn't physically be there. maybe it's the election. or the countless acts of hate and violence we saw across our country. maybe it's the stress and unknowns surrounding kids and school and virtual learning and schedules and work. maybe it's the worry that things will NEVER going back to normal. or that things WILL go back to normal...i.could.go.on.

comparison is uninvited so let's.not.even.go.there...it's ALL hard. it's ALL valid. and if you feel exhausted, you have every right to feel fucking exhausted. to be honest, when i really stop and reflect on how i actually am...well, i am employed, i am healthy...and i'm also not sure i have ever felt this drained emotionally or energetically... #pandemicfine, i guess, right?

in some ways we haven't had a lot of control over what has happened in the last year; we have all been along for a ride we didn't ask to get on with this pandemic. many aspects of our lives and routines and relationships and mindsets and thoughts and opinions and actions have been tested over and over again. we've been asked to spend a lot of energy and we always have choices around how we save and protect our energy...sounds pretty and nice, right? but...how do you actually do this?

pause: this is NOT a 'here's the silver lining' or 'but we can be grateful for...' or 'let's all journal about it' post, we all can recognize a positive and bring forth gratitude and i do love a journal sesh; but not my focus here today.

resume: it may help to think about your energy as a form of currency. just like our bank accounts house our money, we each also have an internal energy bank to draw from:

*we can spend it on people, experiences, and thoughts.

*we can save it by opting out #powerofno.

*we can transfer it from 'account' to 'account' by giving less to one thing in order to give more to another.

*we can invest it.

*we can be miserly and hoard it.

*we can be reckless and ignore the messages from our bodies and minds.

*we can give it away.

*we can restock it by recharging.

*we can overspend it and incur an 'overdraft fee'...pain, exhaustion, burn out, breakdown...

*we can open an energy credit card and borrow energy from others to pay back later (potentially dangerous business).

...and so on...

for me, winter's end seems to always be a celebration mixed with feelings of depletion; this year especially. as we enter a new month, a new season...maybe ask yourself, 'how in tune am i with my energy bank?' is it stocked? could you make a couple account transfers to enhance your balance (pun intended, obviously). how can you replenish your reserves or 'spend smarter'? what does overspending look like or feel like to you?

are you listening? are you tuning in? are you adjusting? are you protecting your energy?

XOXO